Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Writer's Cramp and The Perfect Day

Hey all!
My last post on Writer's Cramp was very popular, so I'm doing a reprise. Again, I highly recommend for people interested in writing to check out www.writing.com. It's free, you get to meet a lot of people, and it's tons of fun. The Writer's Cramp is a contest held every 24 hours, and you get immediate feedback from the judges. Plus, other people comment as well! Just keep your entry under 1000 words!

Another one of my favorite prompts was the following:
End your story with the following words: "And now, I have cold feet and an enormous headache."

This was my entry, enjoy!

The Perfect Day
              I finger the lacy train that adorns my head. I don’t think of myself as a beautiful woman, but I admit today is different. Piles of gleaming dark curls are pinned on top of my head with fragrant lilies intertwined throughout the soft tresses. Somehow the makeup artist has done magic, and my blue eyes look bigger than usual, outlined in an invisible almond liner, a hint of blush to my cheeks, and pale pink lipstick that just adds a dash of color to my smiling mouth. The silk, pale gown hugs every curve of my body, and it drapes easily over my skin. Layers of shimmery material pool at my feet. This dress, this makeup, this veil—these are the most beautiful things I have ever put on my body. Because of the perfection I see in the mirror, I know that today is going to be a perfect day.
                I wanted a garden wedding in the glorious outdoors, but David wanted it indoors at night. He said that it would make the event more formal, fit for the queen that I am. How can a girl fight with that logic? So we picked this mansion in which to hold the event. I admit that I was hesitant at first, because I couldn’t see past the cobwebs that hung on every corner, the faded carpet. But a good cleaning has done wonders. The dramatic center staircase is spotless, the wooden banisters gleam and the carpet has a rich, burnished red color. The foyer floor is paved with white marble streaked with grey and black, and a sparkling chandelier hangs from the ceiling, crystals catching the light and sprinkling rainbows around the room. I just imagine my entrance. Oh, what an entrance it will be!
                The music starts. I am in a small sitting room on the second floor with my gorgeous sister Andrea and my best friend from childhood, Elaine, who are both wearing lavender satin.
Elaine squeezes my hand.  I reluctantly let her go as it is her turn to glide down the stairs.
Andrea has no words. She clings to me. I am the younger sister, and until David, we were inseparable. “Don’t mess up my hair,” I say, trying to prevent the tear that is developing in my eye. “You know what an awful time I have with it.”
Andrea sniffles. “Yes, it’s always a bird’s nest.” She kisses my cheek. “You are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen,” she whispers and then exits the room.
My father knocks on the door. “I think it’s my turn,” he says gruffly. His glasses are starting to fog. “Are you going to make it?” I whisper.
                My father blows his nose. “Just allergies, my dear, just allergies.”
                All the people I love are here. They are standing on the bride’s side; their faces are so dear to me.  On the other side is David’s family. In comparison, they seem stern, austere. But I know I will learn to care for them in time.
As I approach, all I can see is David. His pale, handsome features are more dramatic in the glow of the nearby candles. His father is going to perform the ceremony. David isn’t especially religious and figured it would put a more personal touch to the event.
                David’s face lights up into a smile when he sees me. His teeth seem even whiter as usual. As my father sits down, and David takes my hand. His father, standing in front of us wearing dark velvet robes, says, “Now it is time.”
                This pronouncement seems very odd, but I try to ignore it as this is the most special day of my life.
                David takes both of my hands. “I hope you will understand in your last moments,” he said earnestly. “I have really enjoyed getting to know you. And because I know of your purity in spirit and body, I know you are the perfect virgin to sacrifice and to drink from on this important day, All Hallow’s Eve.”
                Suddenly, many things make sense to me. The fact he was insistent on getting married on October 31st, the fact that he didn’t want to get married in the gazebo with the sun on our faces, the fact that we never spent time outdoors during any of our dates. The courtship was so quick, and I was so fascinated by his elegance and charisma that I never noticed his pale skin and white teeth. Tonight, they lengthen into fangs. Everyone on his side hisses, and I am almost blinded by all the teeth that are bared.
                At this spectacle, I fold my arms stiffly. “I can't believe you are doing this on my perfect day!” I am in complete shock. I have fallen in love with a vampire who just wants me as food. “You have messed with the wrong girl,” I shriek. I can feel the warmth of my family buoying me up. My wig bursts into flame, my fingertips spurts fire. I can tell my beautiful, perfect dress is melting off of my blazing skin, and my soft, deerskin shoes that I love so much, that feel like floating on clouds, are completely destroyed. I come from a whole town of fire spirits, but the Elders had allowed me to leave to find human love. So much for that plan.
                David howls as his tuxedo catches on fire, and he quickly goes up in ash. I turn and see the rest of my family and friends have followed suit, and we all make short work of his side of the family.
                It’s been a long time since I’ve used my powers so drastically. And the more power we use, the worse the fire hangover. I sigh as I wipe away the tatters of my favorite shoes and pull out burnt metal pins from my scalp.
And now, I have cold feet and an enormous headache.

P.S. I won this Cramp. :-)

37 comments:

  1. Great entry! And thanks for the heads up about the website/contest. I'd never heard of this before but I'll be sure to check it out! :D

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  2. You sure a writer! I especially loved the start and how you desribed the bride in all her glory, it's just ashame she had to ruin her dress and shoes. I thoughts things weren't matching up and then - bam! Thanks for sharing :)

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    1. Thanks so much, Rebecca! I had a lot of fun writing it!

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  3. The twist to your story is excellent. I love how your main character in this story as well as your MC in "A Cannibal's New Shoes" don't freak out and do nothing when they find out they've been betrayed and lied to--they take action and are strong characters! As I read, I was completely surprised as to where the story went, and that's a really good thing. I had no idea it was going to end like that! :)

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    1. I love twists, and I love women triumphing in the end... I'm glad you saw this trend in my writing haha! Thanks again for reading and commenting!

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  4. I really enjoyed reading this and would like to wish you all the very best with the writing contest. It was engaging, atmospheric and very captivating that made me want to read on. I really am enjoying reading your writing, which is very good. x

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  5. The twist is totally... wow. I expected normal wedding, especially after this great, easy to imagine introduction. I was surprised by paranormal plot - David got what he deserved.
    Intriguing story worth the build up ;)

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    1. Natalia: I really appreciate your comments-- the fact that you've read all of my work I've put up here and enjoyed it makes me think that possibly one day I'll be able to write a full length novel that people will want to read.

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  6. Did not see that coming, but I loved it!!!

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  7. Great entry! Thanks for sharing!

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  8. Christina, Congratulations on winning this CRAMP! I've never heard of this until now, and I'm really thinking about trying it out. Thank you for sharing this!!

    -Beth [YA Vixens]

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  9. Oh wow! This is an amazing story!! I would've never expected the ending! What a twist!! Ahah! Brilliant! Just brilliant! :D

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  10. Awesome story! Nice exciting ending!

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  11. You do a fantastic job of painting a story. I could see every detail in my head. I need longer/more writing!!!!

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  12. You are an amazing writer! I love it! :D

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  13. Wow I really liked the first paragraph! It was very descriptive in a good way that with the imagery, allowed you to actually picture it in your mind! I like how you didn't just do the "normal wedding"! This was creative and I really liked it.

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  14. I loved it, funny, entertaining, interesting, surprising and twisty in it's own little way. It's a great story!!! And thanks for the heads up on the website/contest... I will probably be there soon since I love writing.

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  15. Wow, not what I was expecting! I was even more suprised when the bride pulled out her fire powers! A great twisted ending to an otherwise perfect wedding story. Bravo!

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  16. well that was interesting and loved how creative it was. Was a great short read and look forward to reading your other ones

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  17. Your definitely talented! I can see why you won this one, it was brilliant! I loved it :)

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  18. Great Story and nice use of the words to end your story. <3

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  19. Great story. I like how in the end sentence the cold feet was literal. I was not expecting that. I will check out that website, sounds cool. Thanks.

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  20. Good story. I liked that the cold feet at the end was literal. I will definitely check out the site with these contests, thank you.

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  21. I love how much description you put into everything, it really makes me picture everything as you write it, beautiful writing :D

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  22. Great post! I had fun reading it and congrats on winning! :)

    - Diana @amalia_chartres

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  23. This is fantastic! I certainly wasn't expecting this ending at all. Have you any plans to turn this into a novel? If so, I'd love to beta read it for you! Fire spirits and vamps? What a fabulous combination! :D
    Suzy Turner, YA Author

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  24. OMG, this was such a good read =) Totally wasn't expecting the ending. You're talented for sure! :D

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  25. Love this story! Your description are amazing and I could definitely picture the scene in my head! Great ending too!

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  26. I really enjoyed reading this story on Figment and I can totally see why you won this contest when you first wrote this story. I would love to see this idea turned into a book also. :)

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  27. Wow, I love it :)
    Are you thinking to write a book? I think this would be an awesome book :) I LOVE Vampires :P

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  28. Wow, great job!! I wish I could write... you should be very proud. :) Man, I wish I had powers like that... ;)

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